Global Crusting

A while back my friend Crusty Nuts and I were having a deep conversation about the state of the world that opened our eyes to the horrors that await, this is my attempted summary of that conversation. Global warming will have devastating effects on our planet if we don't do something about it, polar bears will become vicious hermaphrodites, vaginas will turn into sandpaper and everything will just fuckin' suck! As global warming occurs human beings will undergo drastic evolution in order to adapt, the summers are going to be insanely hot and the winters piercing cold. We will grow hair all over our bodies like monkeys (or Robin Williams) to keep us warm during the winter, the need for clothes may or may not still exist in this tumultuous time due to the fact that we are hairy as fuck now. Also we will have had to pack on as many pounds as humanly possible and still be able to move around actively.Then during the summer we will have completely shed our fur forcing us to use SPF 5,000,000,000 to protect us from our now deadly sun. Fall is when we grow our fur back, and spring is when we begin to shed. Spring is also the only time human beings will mate because during the summer it's so hot that women's vaginas are like sandpaper and during the winter, well, are you down to bone a hairy fat chick? But toward the end of spring the weather is perfect for human mating season, women shed their fur, there vaginas will be nice and moist and it's been like a year since the last time they bumped uglies with anyone so they are so down. One things for sure though,this will decrease the human population and pave the way for our planets recovery.