Crispy Pete

During a BBQ everyone was sitting around drinking beer and having a good time when along came a chicken... She wandered up sat down right in the middle of everything, she seemed comfortable there and thus Pete became one of us. Of course Pete stuck around for a while doing chicken stuff and being all chicken like but then one day she dissapeared... where she went we may never go, but it has been said that she's been seen chickening around the yard early in the morning during that part of the day that doesn't really exist. Then one day I was awoken by a knock at the door, who could this be so early in the morning i wondered, when I answered the door it was some dude with a box who said he knew I had a chicken. He then handed me the box, got in his truck and drove off into the morning never to be seen again... well by me at least. So I took the box inside, put it on the table and opened it and what was in there but a big pissed off chicken! This thing was not Pete, it was just a strange angry chicken so I put her on the porch and she made it her home. Now this chicken has been around since and has been endowed with the name Crispy, but I began to notice something odd about Crispy... something very odd indeed. This was a very lonely and confused chicken, this chicken felt different on the inside, the way this chicken felt on the inside didn't match the way she felt on the outside, Crispy made a life changing decision for herself, Crispy wanted to become a rooster. She began taking hormones to grow those big green tail feathers and that nasty dangly thing on her face, at this point there was but one step left, Crispy must go under the knife. She ran off to Guatemala for over a month without a word and we were all worried sick about her thinking that maybe a stray dog or cat had gotten to her, or that maybe she wandered too close to that burrito stand down the street until one morning, just before the sun arose there was loud shrill and powerful crow! It echoed from the porch where Crispy once would lay her head to rest, it seemed to have the power and confidence of none other than God's poultry!... and it was emanating from a familiar looking silhouette, but that's impossible! I don't know any roosters- but wait! Could it be? There was Crispy! A once troubled chicken now a proud transgender rooster, finally comfortable with the body he was living in he could once again survey the yard of this humble abode as he is now a warrior, a strong, proud and fearless transgendered rooster warrior.

Penis!

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Human Centipede? Or Teeth?

Whats up out there? So I have a question for you... Would you rather be the middle piece to the human centipede? Or the chick from Teeth's boyfriend? Think long and hard about it. If you were the middle piece to the human centipede then you already got the wrong end of the deal on that side, you are not only eating shit and sucking farts but crapping in someones mouth. Now imagine if as you were getting your mouth crapped in the person behind you puked. Nasty... The person in the front really has the best deal out of them all since that person doesn't have to eat shit, if anything he just endure some pukage on his cheese hole. The person at the end is eating diluted shit since it's already been diluted by someone elses digestive system. If the middle piece tried to escape she would have to not only rip her face from the front pieces ass but rip her ass from the end pieces face, so it's unpleasant all around. Not only is she missing a piece of her face but she's missing a piece of her ass too. Being the middle piece seems like it should only end in suicide...
Now imagine being the chick from Teeth's boyfriend, ugh... She could rip your manhood off at any moment while bumpin' uglies. You would have to make sure you NEVER piss her off and for any man that's ever had a girlfriend you know that's completely impossible. Women don't think logically and will get mad for no reason, it must be no reason becuse they never tell you why they're mad. It's as if your supposed to know, and sometimes they hide and get even more pissed off when you don't know that they are mad. So no matter what somewhere down the line you going to lose your meat stick while doing the horizontal tango with your lady. And sorry guys no rear entry, she aint like that... Also her mouth has teeth in it too so yeah...
Anyway go ahead and leave some responses telling me what you would pick and why, also by chosing niether you automatically chose both... MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

NEW TO BLOGGING!... What have I got to lose?

Hello bloggers I'm Jewclops and I'm new to blogging. I just thought I'd give it a shot because... Well why not? Still not entirely sure what I should blog about  but I'm sure it will all come to me as get  it going. As for now I'm just thinking up ideas and will probably just throw some stuff out there until I hit on something I like. For now I'm just going to spew shit onto my computer screen. I love music so I'm probably going to be talking about music a lot, I also love to play video games so that shits going to be up on here I'm sure and also I might let you guys know when I post videos on youtube, maybe give a summary as to what the video was about or what went into it. it seems like there are sooooo many fuckin' ideas to go with so I'm just going to throw them all out at you guys and hope you stay interested enough to read it, if not then fuck it, what have I got to lose?
If anyone wants check out my youtube channel just go to www.youtube.com/jewclops  and subscribe.
I you are interested in a shirt go to www.jewclops.spreadshirt.com